Thursday, May 5, 2011

Dad


So I had very very vivid dreams of my dad last night. I hesitate posting about it... so I won't. I do want to say how much I miss him though. I still remember what his smile looked like and how he kind of threw his head back when he laughed. I remember his "cowabunga" t-shirt that he would swim in. It had black and white cows on it and they were surfing. He said that if he did not wear it he would look like an albino walrus. And oh the lectures! I hated them and I love them now. I remember him coming home from SLC after his chemo treatments, he and Mom had been gone so long. He saw my dark blue nail polish and looked at me like "What the?", I have not wore dark blue nail polish since. I remember finally breaking down during his viewing and Aunt Roberta being there to hold me. I remember what I wore to his funeral and I always remember how much this hurts. I miss my dad every day and am so thankful for eternal families.

Jared-
In my dream last night I kissed him on the cheek! I love him so much. He lives so much closer now and I rarely see him. That needs to change. He has been there for me so many times. I remember one of the many times that I was having a hard time in my late teens. He brought me a gallon of rainbow sherbet ice cream and I ate it all with a spoon straight out of the container.

Michael-
What a rock. He has always been my silent rock. He has always been such an example to me. His spirituality and his ability to hold fast to the iron rod is so comendable. I love him tons.

Heidi-
Oh Ruthless. If the Relief Society had a mascot, It would be Heidi. What a super woman. I still have and treasure all of the letters that she sent me while living in Utah. She has always been so kind and loved me and told me that she loved me. I am so thankful for that. I love her loads.

V-Child!
I miss her! We are so much a like in some ways, I think. She makes me laugh constantly and every time I picture her in her little black cat costume from when she was 5 I want to squeeze her. I love her bundles.

Shane-
He is my most favorite baby brother. I love that even though he is 19 years old I still want to take care of him like he is my 3 year old baby brother. I love that we fight like we are only 2 years apart, even though we are 12 years apart. I love that I shed tears when they would announce his name over the loud speaker at football games. I just love him.